


Clouds in the Sky

by fireflysglow_archivist



Category: Firefly
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-09-28
Updated: 2003-09-28
Packaged: 2019-04-29 10:04:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14470293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireflysglow_archivist/pseuds/fireflysglow_archivist
Summary: River has a conversation with Mal.





	Clouds in the Sky

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Firefly’s Glow](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Firefly%27s_Glow), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Firefly's Glow collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/fireflysglow/profile).

 

Clouds in the Sky

## Clouds in the Sky

### by Rachel
    
    
         Title: Clouds in the Sky
         Author: Rachel
         Email: raelee514@earthlink.net
         Summary: River has a conversation with Mal.
         Takes place right after Objects in Space though there isn't
         much mention of the episode itself. It's characterization
         and pre-het I suppose. First story in The Moments Between
         Series. Rated PG since they talk about violence. 
         Spoiler Warnings for: Ariel, War Stories and Objects in Space. 
         Couple: River/Mal
         Rating: PG
         Archive: http://www.angelfire.com/journal2/writingpathways/ 
         Disclaimer: Not mine.  They belong to other people.  I just
         twist them.
    

* * *

Clouds in the Sky 

River sat cross-legged on the kitchen table watching Mal her eyes unblinking. His ability to appear unfazed by her staring fascinated her. She knew the truth. Mal wished her gone but he couldn't bring himself to shoo her away. She also knew why he wouldn't - he had doubts nagging him about her presence on his ship. She could help him understand the agitating doubts. Yet, Mal was steadfastly resisting his temptation to talk with her about his hesitations. 

The crew talked around rather than too her, with the exceptions of Kaylee and Shepherd Book. It was familiar to River; her parents once upon a time had always treated her as if she wasn't there when she was. She was 'their daughter' or 'your sister' but never herself. She was tired of it. 

"You have doubts." 

Mal eyes focused on her for the first time since she sat down in front of him. His eyes reminded her of blue water - blue water from a time in her past before the darkness. "That I do," he agreed. 

"I can clear away the clouds." 

He studied her. River liked his expression; it was hard and examining. Mal was considering her, seeing her and River hoped he'd hear her too. 

"This isn't a game," he said, his tone dead serious and River knew it was a test. She was good at tests. 

"My mind is mine. Not a playground." 

He's expression didn't change, his body didn't flinch but his mind shifted and fell into emotions. Anger, understanding and the decision to give into the temptation and voice his doubts to the reason for them. Her. 

"Killing Niska's men? Do you remember?" 

"Didn't look but had to stop them. They would have invaded Serenity to kill the life inside of her." 

A flash of her and Kaylee dead flew from his mind to hers, followed by the rest of them trapped and tortured on Niska's station. Mal's jaw clenched the gruesome images vanishing in a second and his examining gaze softening subtly with worry and unexpected respect. 

"Kaylee was frozen it had to be me." 

He didn't want Kaylee to kill, didn't want it to change her from the innocent heart she was and neither did River. River didn't want Kaylee to ever know darkness and she felt the same hard wish from Mal's heart. 

"Big eyes and beautiful. Kaylee is light," River whispered. 

The blue water of Mal's eyes iced over and pierced into River with discomfort. She felt him steeling his spine and he leaned his eye elbows onto the table, "That is unsettling." 

She thought so too but she couldn't help it. Everything ran through her mind, words, images and tears. She didn't always know who or where they came from, if they were real or false. Complicated contradictions of human emotion that she had no foundation to understand . "I breathe and I hear things unspoken. I dream and I see things I can't know. My mind is full and I don't comprehend, and things fragment and there are truths and there are fictions..." she trailed off as her eyes began to sting and the room began to spin. She had to stay steady because talking with the captain was important. 

She closed her eyes and could feel Mal's on her, he saw the sudden frenzy overtake her and afraid he'd go get Simon her hand flew forward. Her finger tips touched his forehead. "Stay." 

"I'm thinking that maybe..." 

"I don't need him I need a moment," she said bringing her hand back to her side and opening her eyes. "Done." 

It didn't take her insights to see the uncertainty waving off of Mal about whether he should continue their conversation or not. He'd lost his hard edge and looked rather afraid. A giggle escaped her throat at the thought, he'd never admit to fear and she had to squash the desire to tell him not be scared. She didn't want him defensive, she wanted Mal to listen. 

"What has you laughing?" 

"Your face," she answered and then quickly brought the conversation back to where she wanted it. "There are still clouds in the sky." 

Mal eyed her before relaxing in his chair and running a hand over his face. "Again with the understanding you..." he murmured to himself. 

River smiled and waited. She knew he'd continue now and it was his mind they were taking a weight off of. He had to ask the questions and she would wait. 

And she did for ten quiet minutes, watching Mal from her perch on the table with focused patience. His emotions were so clouded she couldn't guess what his questions would be or what he would touch on. All she knew was he was thinking about the consequences of things. 

"Going to try stabbing Jayne again?" 

River swallowed and searched her mind. The reasons she slashed Jayne with the knife were fuzzy now. She remembered anger at him about his purposeful antagonizing of Simon, but it'd been more or had it been less? She didn't know but she knew the answer to the question. "No, I understand Jayne better now." 

"So no more stabbing?" 

"No more stabbing the crew." 

He smiled at her then, his grudging respect back in his thoughts but his expression hardened instantly again. "And guns?" 

River nodded. "No touching guns, I remember." 

"I want my crew safe, Serenity flying." 

"Wasn't going to shoot it. It was in my hand - was wondering through Serenity and there it was." She furrowed her brow and closed her eyes. "Storm clouds won't go away with talk like this..." 

"There are no storm clouds, River," Mal interrupted, followed by a groan. "I mean, I just want you to understand a few things." 

"I do. Serenity first and that includes the crew. It's paramount to you." 

"You let your brother do his doctor thing and you follow the rules and things will be okay." 

River bit her lip and reached our again, touching Mal's forehead for the second time, pressing her fingertips against the warm skin. "So clouded, don't want the sky to clear." 

"I see better in the dark." 

"I live in the dark, wish I could have the heavens back again." 

He flinched bodily then surprising her and she moved her hands back into her own space and watched him. "I don't want to be doubted, Captain." 

Mal smiled and it met his eyes and River felt refreshed as if she'd drunk from the blue water he reminded her of, he reached over to her then and cupped her chin in his hand gently. "Trust is earned, you're earning it. Now go let your old captain be." 

"Alone with the clouds?" 

"Alone would be nice." 

River moved off the table gracefully and stepped to the door. She looked back and he was looking ahead, through the spot on the table she had sat. His mind clouded but clearer on her. She smiled. It would do. 

#### If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Rachel


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